Recording Tips for the Beginner

An invaluable primer for those contemplating
their first recording session
from someone who knows!

by Wendy Carlos

Wendy Carlos is one of the most important composers in the field of electronic music, having created Switched-On Bach, the scores to A Clockwork Orange and Tron, and Beauty in the Beast. She is also an experienced engineer and producer, an avid eclipse chaser and, as we can see here, a very talented, if somewhat erratic, cultural observer and essayist. We are pleased to be able to present her rant... -- uh, writings here.

Sooo--- you're all excited, about to have your first recording session as anengineer. Great! Wish I were able to be there to help. Since I'm not (kelldough mahj), I thought I'd just jot down a few thoughts and tips, although youmay have already learned some of them.

Assuming you'll be using a directional mike (a Cardiac pattern, which has a"hearty sound", for example):

Put the "talent" in the FRONT of the mike for normal recording.
Put the "talent" in the BACK of the mike only for backups.

If you have an Army-directional mike (why they're credited to the Army no onecan tell, and you're not supposed to ask), which picks up both front and back(also all around, unlike ribbon mikes, which are only bi-saxual), you can dothe recording and backup at the same time. This is usually termed"Bi-Sax-o-Mode", in honor of the American Bison, and Adolf Sax, inventor of theSaxophone and Saxbut.

The mike should be neither too close, nor too far from the sound source. Asimple formula often used by professionals to calculate the optimum distance tothe source, D, is given by:

Where: D = the desired distance in inches, H = height of the sound source inmeters, H' = height of the mike in yards, V = max volume of the source, in dBm,S = sensitivity of the mike in millivolts per dBm, T = mean temperature of theroom in degrees Melvin, h = Planck's reasonably constant, M = arc tan (area ofmicrophone diaphragm, in round mm), and msp = mistake someplace, inwatt-kilograms/hour.

The best microphone for an accordion is none. (This rule-of-thumb also appliesto bagpipes and rappers.)

If you are recording onto tape, good maintenance practice would be to clean thetape head and path. Do not use peanut butter for this, even the "creamy" kind.Mustard, crazy glue, or mayonnaise are also poor choices (trust me), but in anemergency, Vodka on a Q-tip will work, especially if recording Russian music(hint: save some for yourself, but substitute an olive for the Q-tip.)

Usually it's preferable to put reverb on AFTER the solo tracks are recorded, astrue reverb filters not only don't exist yet, but are unusually expensive, anddifficult to abuse.

If you are recording onto the Hi-Fi tracks of a video deck, you may also wishto record the video feed that you monitor to observe if the talent behavesdisrespectfully or slovenly. The tape can later be useful in preparing an MTVvideo... or blackmail. Also, if you are recording onto the Hi-Fi tracks of a video deck, you may wishto turn on an air-conditioner near the "talent". The a/c will supply a whitenoise sound, to hide the AFM glitches in the Hi-Fi tracks. This is an exampleof the Masking Effect.

As the a/c gets louder, its masking effect may be measured via a "Signal toNoise Radio" and yardstick. These radios are portable, being battery powered.(The yardstick is also portable, but will need no batteries.)

CAUTION: do NOT wear a mask for a more pronounced masking effect. However,earplugs may be useful. The "talent", however, can wear a mask, unless they are reading the part. Inthat case they're probably too professional for you to be recording anyway.

To the RIGHT is loud (only for rotary controls -- for sliders usually, it'sUP).

Harmonic distortion is BAD. So is melodic, rhythmic, or contrapuntal. Usuallythe only effective remedy is to replace the "talent".

Check that no cables are plugged in backwards, or that an odd number of cablesare connected together in series. This is called phase reversal.

Be sure the equipment is operating adequately, and the performer knows themusic adequately. This phase is called rehearsal. (You may eventually outgrowthis phase, as familiarity breeds contempt.)

NEVER plug the monitor speakers input into an AC outlet, even if you have aproper adapter cord. There are far better ways to test them (convenient spraycans are available.)

Be sure the sound passes through the cables, or at least very closely. If thereis any signal leakage, you could damage your floor, especially while recordingAcid Rock, Acid Jazz, or Grunge -- yechht!

Be sure the sound passes through the cables in the proper direction (note thearrows on the connectors or cord.) Otherwise, when a singer inhales, you willhear an exhale, and vice versa. This is as horrible as the worst possible vice:punning (and as you know, there is no vice versa.)

Do not wave at a performer unless seated. Good studio practice minimizes allStanding Waves.

Digital recording technology likes lots of digits. So keep all your digits busywhile recording, moving faders and knobs and switches a lot. When your digitsare happy, so is the master.

Reduce the oxygen in the air near all signal carrying copper wires, to keepthem oxygen-free. Fire can be useful for this purpose, as it consumes mostoxygen readily. (Summertime tip: pure silver wire only tarnishes, so you won'tneed combustion -- as long as silver polish is readily available.)

Keep the performers and yourself well supplied with caffeine and drugs. Youneed to perform at your best. The only amplifiers are not just in the rack.(But Mister Manners says: don't try this at home without the supervision of anadult/parent, preferably both.)

Don't place the mikes near the loudspeakers, unless one or the other of them isOFF, unconnected, or nearly so (the old "partially plugged-in ploy".) This cancause undesirable problems, of social and medical nature. However -- once yourears are fused, go right ahead.

To start a take, establish a safe recording level (your hardware store sellslevels, which may help). Then place the tape or recording medium into RECORD,and signal the "talent" in an appropriate fashion: mallet, strobe light,firehose, whatever. (This is termed: Cue the Miracle, and is a definition of anOptimist.)

If the "talent" is a painter or mime, you may omit the first two steps. (Ormove the mike in a LOT closer.) If the "talent" is not very, you may omit all remaining steps. (Or move themike further away -- for example to Block Island.)

Enhance the performer's crescendos by moving the fader up each time.Enhance the performer's diminuendos by moving the fader down each time.

Variation, for extra points: do the OPPOSITE of the above, each time. Don't betoo subtle about it, or you'll waste all your enhancements -- and what's thepoint of that?

There are TEN "dessies" in a Bel. Now you know. Note: the dB is metric, and youmust pay a metric Scale. (Union musicians: pay the 12-tone Scale.)

The maximum level setting for a rock drummer is: 60 x their IQ/your IQ, in"dessies". If you wish yours to remain undisclosed, just calculate: their IQ/2,for a reasonable approximation.

If this is to be yet another heavy metal session, it might be desirable for allparticipants to bear in mind the subtleties and nuances of the "MILD"principle: "Make it loud, dammit!"

In these PC aware times, equality is a good thing. So be sure to use plenty of EQ. Make amusing and interesting patterns of ups and downs with theEQ, to make the recording more interesting. Or amusing.

When each TAKE is completed, stop the recording medium, and signal theperformer (see suggested methods above) either to prepare to do it again, ornot -- your choice and tolerance. Try to write something down on a piece ofpaper. A pep talk is often given here (so you can GIVE before a TAKE.)

Tell them it was great, except, perhaps, for a slight clumsiness when theypassed out. Tell them you'll fix it in the mix. Tell them you're known as"MagicFingers" in the studio business. Tell them: "Stick with me, kid, andyou'll wear diamonds!" Be sincere (but not too honest...) Smile a lot.

Don't despair, tapes and media can always be erased. (Be sure to tell this tothe performers -- often.)